Lord, I need you...

.... so much.

* * * * *

Sighs,

Gotten rather depressed as my hopes of being a nurse dashed before my eyes.
I was prepared for nursing in future but not this..

Due to soooo many complications
I actually came to an understanding of this:
In order to get my diploma [which would be in 3 years], there would be 6 semesters right?

ONE semester in Nanyang Poly is S$6,000. That would be S$36,000 in 3 years.
Think that's bad?
Wait, let's change that to Ringgit Malaysia.

Done the math?

RM72,000!!!

Sniff... look, I DON'T have that kind of money.. ):
I almost fainted. [ it's an expression, I'm okay ]

So I questioned, what about tuition grant a.k.a bond?
Apparently, it's not guranteed.
That means, if I apply for Nanyang and I'm approved, I can apply for bond.
BUT I've got to pay S$6k first.
If I do get bond, I'd be refunded of my S$6k.

For those who are blur, it means that I'd have to work for
Singapore for 3 years after getting my diploma, I'd be assigned to a hospital.
Plus, I get working experience.
And because of that, my fees would drop from around S$6k to S$1k.
HUGE difference huh?

But what happens if I don't get it?
What if I actually don't get the bond..?
S$6k would be flushed down the drain simply because
I CANNOT afford paying 6k every semester.
That would be CRAZY.

Here's another thing making my chances thinner:
"Nanyang does not take Malaysian nurses anymore". - oh the discrimination! :(

But Zhi Ai and Angeline encouraged me to just apply and see what happens.
God willing, they will accept me.

*drops head*
Sniff.. my chances of being a nurse are soooo friggin' super slim.

Nanyang Poly's Open Day is on the 25-27 January.
I'll go check it out... sighs.

Well, here are the back up plans... :
1) Sunway College - will check out the courses and fees tomorrow.. I'm coming for you Jess! LOL!

2) Matriculation in Local U - which I applied in High School, notification after SPM results only
3) LAST RESORT = Form 6 STPM - nooooooo...... :(

Anyways, I've just made arrangements to sit for my UNDANG this coming Monday.
I don't even have enough to pay for the entire course on my own, yes my own pocket.
I can afford for my undang, my practical would be in question marks.
Will be going with my bestie Danny Boy, hopefully.
Anyone else wanna join me?
The more the merrier.. hee.

Sighs, and I just need to say this...
I really don't like shifting around from one place to another.
This is doing me no good, I may just get me all confused!
Why can't I stick to one place?
But nevertheless, I shall obey the commandments of the Lord.

I love this song... and it applies to me right now, sighs.
Great singer, beautiful voice.

WONDERFUL WORLD

James Morrison

I've been down so low, people look at me and they know

They can tell something is wrong, like I don't belong

Well, staring through a window

Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight

I want to be like them, but I'll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in

And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

And I know that it's a wonderful world, but I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well, but I just wanna cry now

Well I know that it's a wonderful world, from the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love, it just comes spilling out

It's uncomfortable to see, I give it away too easily

But if I had someone I would do anything

I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone
I won't, I won't leave you on your own

But who am I to dream?

Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

Well I know that it's a wonderful world, but I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well, but I just wanna cry now

Well I know that it's a wonderful world, from the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better

I'd give anything for you to call me or

Maybe just a little letter

Oh, we could start again

Well I know that it's a wonderful world, but I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well, but I just wanna cry now
Well I know that it's a wonderful world, from the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Oh, and I know that it's a wonderful world, I can't feel it right now
I've got all the right clothes to wear, I just wanna cry now, cry now!
Well I know that it's a wonderful world, from the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world
When you're with me

Haaa awww... t'was REALLY nice bumping into Von and Ann together with their cousin in Tebrau City last Sunday!
Didn't see the Ong sisters in a very long time!
Had a short but sweet chat, catching up on each other's lives.
Then daddy came pick them, we bid each other goodbye
and they came up with the term, "MelNursa".
It sounds Medusa-ish, lol.... XD
I lurve you gurls! <3

Money really makes the world go round?
Sighs, still don't wanna believe it..

I've still got faith and hope in me..

God, please help me.

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see..
He will make a way for me.

Amen.



If I don't get it,
I guess God doesn't want me to be a nurse after all... :(